To You
by qualls1
Summary: Saint Walker glanced again at the stars above, this time causing Razer to do the same. When Walker looked back at him, Razer's gaze was still lingering in the stars, longing in it. "If you feel the hope, it is not wrong. And it will not lead you astray. She is out there." Blue Lantern Razer. Continuation from where season 2 left off.
1. Chapter 1

"**To You"**

**AN: **_**this is mostly because I was extremely pleased and displeased by the ending and am still very emotionally scarred. **_

_**Cover Image: **_ post/46132926866

_**o0o**_

"Focus your mind on the calmness of the lake."

Thirty or so blue lanterns followed this instruction; some of them with a terrible struggle, others with confusion, and others with ease . . . always mixed methods. Razer would sit, lotus style, for hours at a time, and attempt to usher them into the first steps of training to become true blue lanterns. Of course, this was very tiring at times and Razer occasionally felt the old urge to throw his hands in the air and storm away from the tasks at hand. Then he would feel the pulse of the blue ring, from his fingertips directly to his chest, and he would breathe calmly and continue.

35% of the blue lantern initiates were previously red lanterns. And nothing was more taxing than dealing with four of five versions of his old self day after day. Rage was a wound that took quite a while to soothe, and even after it closed, it would leave a scar. These initiates, like he, would take much more time than average to become skilled blues.

"Calm," he reminded shortly to one of his former reds, who was tensing his muscles over and over in frustration. His irritation was beginning to disrupt the other blue lantern trainees, and thus action had to be taken to insure the others' progress to move onward.

"Zox," said Razer carefully, "Follow me."

The round creature made a 'tsk!' sound and stood, still sporting the red colors of his former corps. "So like you, _brother, _to banish and punish me without even attempting to aid me."

Razer raised a palm and closed his eyes, standing. "Not at all, brother. I am going to take you to the lake. Physically."

Zox raised a portion of muscle tissue that must have been considered a brow. "How?" he spat.

Razer flew in the direction of the lake. "By taking you to the material lake; the actual, touchable, lake. The rest of you, continue on with your instructions."

"Yes, brother," they replied softly in unison. Zox glowered at them all for a moment before scoffing and storming off after his "brother" of the blue lantern corps.

"You're constant doubt and question is more than unnecessary. Pessimism is the road block of hope, brother," Razer instructed softly, without a trace of annoyance in his tone. He had learned this lesson from Saint Walker, many times over. But Zox took the sentence to be a threat and sped up until he was beside Razer, then crossed in his path, blocking him off. The teacher stared with tolerance down at his long-past ally.

"And you're constant pinpointing me out of the group is insufferable!" Zox retorted heatedly, "I did not join this stupid corps to be belittled by some red lantern drop out!"

Razer took a deep breath. He let it out.

"I am not pinpointing you, brother. Though your failure to comply with the tasks that I have set is disappointing—,"

Zox began to growl and clench his fists. Razer took a different approach, "—I do not believe you are incapable of progress. You show much power, Zox. Much rage. We only need to alter that into hope."

The round alien loosened his grip after he heard the comment about his power, and almost looked smug, for only a moment. But then he sneered, "Hope for what? I've been here for three months and no one has given me any reason to hope for anything!"

Razer paused for a moment. "Hope does not have rhyme or reason, Zox. Hope does not need it. You should not have a reason to hope, but something to hope for. Do you see?"

But the confusion and annoyance mixed on the former red's face answered the question before the creature's thought process could answer.

Razer sighed, "You are far from becoming a blue lantern. But, then again, so am I. We will both, as will the rest of our former corps, continue to learn what hope is."

Zox, strangely, had calmed down. Razer hoped it was from the techniques he had shown him. It was only hope that was keeping him from guessing Zox had only gotten more confused.

"I don't get you, Razer," said the blue lantern trainee. Razer cringed at his name. He had changed it since becoming a blue lantern.

"What do you not understand, brother?" inquired the instructor.

Zox stood while Razer hovered, staring at him from his short height. It almost made him look angry, but then again, he always looked angry. His next sentence proved that he was merely, and strangely, only being thoughtful, "How were you so easily able to find your hope?"

Almost taken aback by the query, given that it was Zox, after all, who was asking it, Razer hesitated before willing himself to reply, "It began, really," more hesitation. He should open himself up to his new brother, but past history caused him to be reluctant. In the end, he convinced himself that they were now on the same side and that any secrets would only cause corruption of hope. "With Aya. With a feeling."

After instructing Zox to meditate by the lake for two days, and after returning to his initiate group and dismissing them for the day, Razer arrived back at the Blue Lantern Power Core, the gigantic blue lantern that shined down on the planet the blue corps inhabited. Saint Walker was there, with his arms crossed behind his back and his head tilted to the stars.

"Brother," he greeted, without turning around, "How did the sessions go today?"

"Exceptionally well," Razer allowed, though he inwardly sighed at the idea of facing Zox again in two days.

"So it is becoming easier for you?" Walker turned profile, smiling warmly, "I am happy to hear that. I always had hope that you would find your place in our corps. I congratulate you."

"Thank you," replied the former red. "But may I ask you something?"

"Of course," murmured Saint Walker, suddenly alert to the sorrow in his brother's voice.

"Is my hope . . . is it faulty? Is it all for naught?"

His higher up stared with his mouth slightly ajar for a moment, then he smiled again and laid a hand on Razer's arm. "Look at how far you've come, brother. From hate and guilt, you have planted the seed of hope in your heart and it burns just as brightly as mine. Your hope is not faulty, it is not all for naught. Your hope is born from love; love for someone you believe is still out there," he glanced again at the stars above, this time causing Razer to do the same. When Saint Walker looked back at him, Razer's gaze was still lingering in the stars, longing in it. "And if you feel the hope, it is not wrong. And it will not lead you astray. She is out there. If you feel the hope for it, then it burns true."

And so Razer looked away from the stars, but with surety in his eyes and a smile on his lips. "Thank you, brother."

"Of course," repeated Walker, "Oh, and pardon me, but I heard from Mogo that you had trouble with Zox again today."

Razer inwardly cringed. Naturally Mogo had overhead. After all, their base was located . . . well, _on top_ of him.

"Yes," he began slowly, "Zox is proving to be quite the challenge. But I have hope that he will succeed in finding his own path of faith."

"He called you by your previous name," said Saint Walker carefully. "And forgive me, but the only reason I am bringing it up is, honestly, to test your currently calm stability. Did his mention of it anger you, even in the slightest? Did it bring up past memories that caused you pain? If so, I urge you to tell me. We can begin the healing process again."

Razer blinked, then smiled with the corner of his mouth and waved a hand at Saint Walker. "Do not worry about me, brother. Zox's habit of calling me . . . Razer . . . has not yet been dropped. But until it does, I have not and will not let it bother me. It is only a name, Saint Walker, and it will not smother out my hope in the slightest."

Walker beamed happily at Razer and unquestionably embraced him. "I am very proud of you, brother."

"Please," said Razer, "feel free to call me by my new name. Zox continues to tell me it is a feminine name, but femininity does not bother me or insult me in the slightest."

Walker laughed, a sound that could be attributed to "the calmness of the lake".

"Very well. I am proud of you, Razaya."

**o0o**

**Will update soon.**

**The name "razaya" was not chosen to make Razer seem feminine. It was chosen so that it showed his character development and his attachment to Aya. And even if it does sound feminine, is that considered an insult? If you think so, then you're no better than Zox, who I believe would attempt to belittle Razer for the name without looking deeper into the meaning.**

**And honestly, who wants to be Zox? **


	2. Chapter 2

"**To You"**

**oOo**

Razer awoke with an ache in his shoulder. Sitting up, he rubbed at it before pushing the covers back and sauntering over to the small pillar of earth that served for a nightstand besides his pallet. On it was his ring. He never wore it in his sleep; a suggestion made in the early days of his training by Walker. It was an exercise to increase Razer's trust in others—to "nurish his hope for trustworthiness in other life-forms".

A morning did not go by that Razer's eyes did not flit to the nightstand just to see the blue ring lying there.

He slipped it on and felt the wave of hope rush through him. His new attire was much more comfortable than his red lantern wardrobe had been. Looking in the mirror, Razor saw, as he always did when looking at his new self, a part of his home planet. His hair was visible now, grayish-white that faded to black at the side-burns and the back. It was short near the neck and long near his forehead, peaking over the blue band that covered the skin there and wrapped around his skull, serving as a head-guard and a band of concentration for meditating. It, along with other parts of his suit, was made of the same material his red ring had supplied him with, thick and withstanding. But the amount of armor was low in this outfit; his torso was covered with several layers of different shades of blue, light cloth and a hood that he pulled over his head. It was fashioned to look much like his home planet's custom uniforms. However, his hands were free of clothe, along with his feet, and his legs were covered with tight material that loosened near the calves.

It was a suit for someone who mediated a lot, fought less, and needed to relax. He stared at himself for a long moment. He could see his arms, his feet, his neck, and he reflected on how inappropriate this amount of skin would be in front of his own people.

But he was not of their people anymore. He was a part of the blue lantern society.

Razer flew out to face the day, his shoulder still aching. He was rubbing at it again when he approached the large circle in front of the Blue Lantern. When he spotted Brother Warth, he hovered over to him and questioned, "What are we all looking at?"

The elephant-like alien turned towards him, shame in his eyes. "Brother Razaya, perhaps you should go back to your quarters. This is not a concern of yours."

Razer lifted a brow. It was not often that Warth dismissed him. Though he said it kindly, there was caution in his black eyes that Razer needed to be answered. "Do not worry, brother," he began slowly, flying forward and guiding a few other blue's to the side to make a path, "I am emotionally stable enough to witness whatever this is." He threw back a smile, but it was tight, because deep within him, the old Razer felt a slight flare of anger. Hurt pride. Did Warth not think he was strong enough to remain calm? What was it, in the center of this crowd, that was causing Warth to doubt?

"Brother Ganthet," Razer called, seeing the small alien at the heart of the circle, "What is all of this about—?"

But as he made his way to the heart of the circle of blue lanterns, Razer stopped short and stared down at the mass of robotic life form at his feet.

"A manhunter," Razer muttered aloud. ". . . why would this be here?"

Ganthet, unlike Brother Warth, did not hesitate to assume Razer could handle this information and replied immediately, "It is not active. Likely, it is one of the disabled ones left over from the Aya War. This Aya-Hunter is merely astronomical waste that fell into our gravitational pull and landed here. Nothing to worry about, I assure you."

Razer looked down at it, the red and blue chunks of metal and armor that had previously been the Aya-hunter before it crash landed, and thought that somewhere in his mind he should feel sadness at the reminiscence. But he felt no pain or hate. And he also felt no love or hope. It was only a slab of robotic life form that he had already known existed, scattered about the galaxy. What harm could it have brought to him? It's presence on Odym meant nothing good, or bad.

He took a breath. "What will we do to expose of it?"

Ganthet said to him, "Carry it for me, please, we will take it to one of the tunnels being dug throughout Odym and drop it in. It is not a permanent solution, but it will suffice until a better option arises." With this being said, Razer formed a construct around the Aya-hunter and followed Ganthet out of the crowd of silent blues towards the large mountains of Odym. Razer glanced behind, connecting eyes with a worried Brother Warth, then nodded his head. He would be alright.

"Brother," started Razer, "I would like to thank you for—,"

"For allowing you to help me carry this heavy piece of scrap metal up a large mountain? My pleasure, I assure you." Ganthet chuckled briefly, then answered seriously, "You mean for trusting you to keep your head? Of course, Brother Razaya. I didn't doubt you for a moment."

"You have hope for everything and everyone, Ganthet," Razer countered, curiosity overpowering manners. He flew faster until he was beside Ganthet. "How do you hope so easily?"

"You are still having trouble?" Ganthet looked at Razer sadly. "Is it because you have yet to find your Aya?"

"My Aya is," Razer looked away, towards the mountain. "She is lost and I have to find her. The problem is— where do I begin? When?"

"You already have, Razaya. You need to concentrate on your hope. With it, you will draw her to you. She will find you."

"What?" Razer stopped abruptly, "I don't understand—I'm not going to search for her?"

"I didn't say that," Ganthet tried again, "You will find her and she will find you."

Razer furrowed his brow. "We . . . will find . . . _each other?_ How endearing."

Ganthet laughed softly and continued towards the mountain, Razer following in his stead. "Two years of training and you still kept a hold of your sarcasm."

**oOo**

Razer found Zox where he left him, but not in the same condition. Instead of lotus style, he was lying belly-up and snoring loudly into the wilderness of Odym. Razer sighed and held out a fist, constructing a ramp of blue energy that slowly pushed Zox over the edge of the lake and into the water.

Spluttering and hand-flailing commenced and Razer sat down, waiting calmly for the splashing and screaming to stop. Cursing began to emit from the lake, along with a soaked Zox as he waddled out of the water and back on dry land. He was breathing hard, from anger and exhaustion, and flung his head, or rather, his body, around wildly to see who the culprit was.

"Razer!" he roared, rushing over to the blue. Razer held up a construct that formed a dome around himself, holding back the raging Zox. Tiny fists pounded upon the contruct, but Razer held it up with no difficulty. "What was that for? You attacked me! You tried to drown me!"

"Razaya, Zox. That is my name."

"You and your girly name tried to _drown_ me!"

"You fell asleep," said Razer without flinching, "And I woke you up. Not in a comfortable way, I'll admit, but what more can you expect from a teacher? Was I supposed to wake you up in a half hour when you were fully rested? Reprimand needed to be taken or you would have assumed it was alright to repeat your actions."

Zox settled back and Razer dropped the construct in hope that Zox would not attack again. He did not.

"You know, red lanterns punish with a little more brutality than that. You've grown soft, Razer."

"Razaya. And no, I have not grown softer. I am no longer a red lantern and will not follow their practices of hate." Razer replied cooly, "I have changed. And in time, so will you. For the better."

"Have you really?" Zox sneered. He laughed harshly, "You're still moping around, like always. Last time it was because of that farm girl and now it's because of some dead, glitchy robot."

Razer tensed. Calm. Calm. He had not felt such a flare of anger in quite a while. He thought of the ring that still lied under his mattress, the one that was dark red and full of rage. He shivered. "There is no need to bring these things up," said Razer, "You are only trying in vain to cause me pain. I will not show fury to you or anyone else because it no longer rests in my heart." But even Razer knew that wasn't true.

"Excuse me," he breathed, standing. Zox watched him fly up about ten feet in the air, smug victory in his face, "Four days, Zilius. And a night, for not being able to control your anger. Try thinking of rain, too. I hear it helps calm red lanterns more efficiently than other lanterns, for some reason. Just a suggestion."

Then he sped off towards where he assumed Saint Walker would be, hearing the groans of Zox behind him.

Saint Walker was not at any of his usual haunts, Razer found, and with disappointment, he decided he was alone for the afternoon. He had no classes to teach today and no one to trail behind, so he was solitary, typically. And so, with nothing to do, he decided to seek answers.

There was a library that was starting to form in one of the temples. Each new recruit brought with them pieces of their old selves before they became blue lanterns, and some brought with them books. Since the blue lantern corps was a passive society, no one had any trouble sharing, except a few red lanterns, of course. Throughout two years, the amount of books had accumulated to a considerable collection from all types of life across the galaxy. Including, of course, Oa.

Razer had originally gone to Ganthet for these answers, but they were not available there, for Ganthet had nothing to do with the science wing of the Guardian sectors. But perhaps someone, somewhere, knew about the entity living within the Green Lantern Power Battery. And it was not as if Ganthet did not know of its existence; he concluded that it was a living being. He simply knew nothing of its origin or species.

So Razer sought refuge in books. Nothing, so far, had been found, but the collection grew every month and his hope, as Saint Walker had pointed out, still burned bright.

Ironically, he found Moon Face, as Kilowog had called him, in that library. "What are you doing here?" asked Razer, not rudely. It was strange seeing Saint Walker here; around all these books about scientific things when the alien preferred spiritual, hypothetical stuff.

"Looking," said Walker simply, picking up a book and tossing it to Razer. He caught it swiftly and looked at the cover. _Green Energy Source of Oa_.

"How did you know?" Razer's voice was hardly above a whisper as he flipped through it. "I've been searching for months now for something like this."

"I had a _feeling_," Saint Walker mused, seating himself on one of the benches. "Perhaps after you read that, you're hope will be more certain."

"Perhaps," agreed Razer. "Thank you, brother."

"Razaya," Walker called out when Razer turned to leave, "There . . . is one more thing."

"What?"

There was a catch in Walker's throat that meant something negative, something that involved Razer. So he stopped and faced the other blue lantern cautiously.

"It would seem that the Guardian's of Oa have reached a new agreement. I heard it from Ganthet, who received a message from Sayd. It is concerning your Aya."

Razer raised an eyebrow and felt it again that day, the familiar broil of rage in his chest that threatened to overpower him. "What about my Aya?"

There was a silence that filled the temple and Saint Walker was almost reluctant to end it. "Now, Razer, when I tell you this, remember to—,"

"My mind is always on the lake, my brother. Tell me, without hesitation," Razer said it with such certainty that Walker believed his confidence and relented.

"They consider the mishap with Aya to be one of the greatest threats that has ever happened in their records. And after finding out about our hope, and how it is true to whoever feels it, they have become concerned."

"About what?"

"About _your_ hope. They understand now that hope is never misleading. And if you have hope, if you can feel that Aya is still alive, they must assume that she will come back. What they have been discussing is, if you find Aya and she lives, would there be probable cause to eliminate her once and for all, erasing the planetary threat."

As he promised, Razer did not seem angry and he did not panic. He nodded once and said, "This is an understandable concern of theirs. Aya was at one point dangerous. But they needn't destroy her again. She will come back; and she will come back as herself, and not the antimonitor monster that she once was."

"How will you convince them of this?"

Razer allowed a small smile, "I am disappointed in you, brother. How will I convince them? Out of hope that she will return to me as she once was. It is only a feeling, but that is enough."

**oOo**

**Will update soon.**


End file.
